I think I smell...

... because I sure attract some weirdos. Or maybe my true calling is to be a detective, or a crime stopper... or simply I have "STUPID" tattooed on my forehead...except I looked in the mirror this morning and I SWEAR I didn't see it.

The other day, I was at work doing my thang, when a lovely gentleman comes in with a new rx. Never seen the guy before, new to the pharmacy. Hands me an rx that looks like the image posted to the left. HM.

Weird that the baclofen is written in two kinds of pen, and the dilaudid in one. Weird that the dilaudid is written in a completely different script than the baclofen. ODD. WEIRD. STRANGE. DUH.

So.. I took all his info, and called his Dr. to confirm (hoping he'd take the hint and leave me alone and let any other pharmacist with1/2 a brain catch him). The following is how the conversation went.

Forger Eesucks (now to be referred to as FE): Is there something wrong with my rx?

Me: I'm confirming your rx as I do with all narcotic rx. It is routine.

FE: YOU ARE JUDGING ME BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK!!!!

Me: Do you look strange? You look fine to me. This is routine.

FE: THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME!!!! PEOPLE ALWAYS JUDGE ME!! I HAVE PAIN!!!

Me: I am not saying you are or are not in pain, I am simply doing my job, like I would with any other person who would walk in this door.

FE: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IF I WAS AN OLD WHITE GUY WITH A LOVELY WIFE THAT YOU WOULD DO THE SAME THING??????

Me: Yup. And for all I know, maybe you do have a lovely wife. Or maybe you don't. It is really irrelevent. Just have a seat, and I'll call you when it is ready.

FE: I have a bad feeling about you.

****** intermission : please note that last comment. ok, stop laughing. read on*******

ME: Ok, I'm not sure why that is the case, but you can feel free to take your rx elsewhere if you'd like! No pressure.

FE: But are you gonna fill it?? Do you have it??

ME: yeah, i have it, and once I confirm it, I will fill it. So if you want, please have a seat.

After this, I proceed to confirm (in the back room) that it is a forged Rx, and call the cops. FE bolts (guess he has instinct).

Two hours and one hot cop later, my statement is taken verbatim and I am told that this dude is known and violent. SUPER.

All in all, it was a great day :D

*********

To top it off, I must still smell today because today this woman comes to fill her 3rx for oxys, and I get an Oxycontin "refill too soon"... but miraculously the lady "doesn't recall" getting it elsewhere. "I'm baffled" -she says. Yes.. baffling indeed. Except you got it this month from another pharmacy and you must have been sleepwalking or stoned and forgot. Thanks for coming out!

Signing off,

P.I. Mariam ("Dr" is overrated)